Stupid, Wonderful
by MyImmortal329
Summary: Carol doesn't have much to say after the death of her husband, but what she does say, she means. [Caryl]


Disclaimer: I own nothing from The Walking Dead.

Stupid, Wonderful

Her hands were covered in blood and dirt. Gnats crawled their way between her fingers and up her arms, buzzing around her eyes, making her flinch as the stench of rotting flesh filled her nostrils. Her stomach lurched for the third time that day, and she squeezed her eyes shut tight, sweat burning them as she leaned into the shade. The distant clinking of axe against bone set her teeth on edge, the smell of burning flesh made her mouth taste like bile. Her lungs burned, as if she wasn't getting air. Like hands were wrapped around her throat.

Somewhere nearby, Andrea was wailing as she lay over her sister's corpse. Somewhere, nearby, Sophia was sitting in shell-shocked silence with Carl. Somewhere nearby, Jacqui was fruitlessly attempting to cool Jim's fever with a damp washcloth. And Carol sat next to the grave that had been dug for her husband. For Sophia's father.

Daryl leaned against a nearby tree, sweat beading down his arms as he gripped the shovel in one hand. He was watching her. She could feel it. And her shoulders shook at the thought of somebody feeling sorry for her, for her loss.

She dug her fingers into the loose earth that covered Ed. She'd thought she was going mad. She'd driven that axe through his skull until she'd felt calloused fingers grip her arm and gruffly whisper that it was enough. That it was done. She'd collapsed against him then, and he'd helped her over to sit in the shade while he dragged Ed's body into the grave. He'd looked at her and then at the pile of bodies burning in the fire, as if asking her if she'd rather not bury him. She'd looked away. Despite everything, she couldn't let her daughter see her father burning up like that. Thank God she'd hadn't seen her with that axe.

Daryl personally scooped each bit of dirt over Ed's mutilated body, and when it was done, he'd backed away, keeping watch over her as she bent her head. He couldn't tell if she was praying for Ed or thanking God that the abusive son of a bitch was finally dead. He knew what he'd be praying about if he was a praying man.

It seemed like hours, as the sun shifted across the sky, and it began to beat at her back, scorching her through her clothes. She wiped the back of her hand against her forehead, and she took a shaking breath, tears slipping down.

"I hate you," she whispered, squeezing the dirt between her fingers. "I'm glad you're dead. I hope you rot in hell." She flinched at her own words, and she choked back a sob and looked skyward, as if begging God for forgiveness.

Daryl knelt then, taking a red rag out of the back of his pocket. He extended it to her, and she looked at him through tear-filled eyes. She didn't reach for it.

"Need to tend to those cuts." She'd injured herself when she'd taken her anger out on Ed's body. She'd blistered and split open the skin, but in her anger, in her grief, she hadn't felt the pain.

"They don't hurt," she murmured. "I don't feel anything."

"S'alright," he murmured. "Still need to heal." He reached for a bottle of water he'd drank sparingly from as he'd buried Ed, and he poured the rest of it over the cloth, taking her hand in his. She looked up at him, watching the redness fill his ears at the boldness of his taking her hand. He dabbed at each blister and each spot of blood, and finally, she flinched at the sting, and her lip trembled. He looked up at her, and their gazes met, and he just gave her a nod as she looked off, looked over to see Sophia staring over at her, eyes wide, fearful, but there was something else. Hope? Carol took a deep breath, and Sophia moved toward the graves.

"He's gone," Sophia murmured, kneeling next to her mother. She looked at Daryl, who said nothing and only focused on cleaning Carol's hands.

"He's gone," Carol murmured. Sophia sighed and leaned her head on Carol's shoulder, and Carol rested her cheek against the top of Sophia's head. The breeze changed direction, washing over the three of them as they knelt at Ed Peletier's grave. As Carol took a deep breath and let herself feel the comfort of Daryl's gentle touch against her hand and the love of her daughter as she leaned against her, her tears dried away, and she could finally breathe again.


End file.
